Training. Wassili Zafiris. NLP. RETEC.

Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching – RETaC

Emotion plays a big part in relationships. Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching works with the heart of individual and relationship problems. RETaC resolves unconscious, projected emotions. Effectively and quickly.

With Relationship Emotion Therapy and Coaching we investigate which emotions arise in individuals in disturbed relationships. Male-female relationship, work and family relationships. We use an accurate process to trace unconscious predictions. In such a way that we can structurally change these predictions. And the emotions related to those predictions.

Connection. Intimacy. A family. Children. Feeling understood. Laughing together. Understanding each other. Trust. To be there for each other. Support. Rejection. Sex. To be on the same page. Cheating. Divorce. Blended family. Communication. Start over… “Just some” words that have meaning in relationships.

Do you want to discover how unconscious emotions determine how partners experience and approach each other? Do you want to learn how you can influence unconscious emotions. So that you can interact with each other intrinsically differently? Register now for RETaC training. A unique new approach to inter-relational problems.

Keeping a loving relationship

That it can be difficult to keep a relationship that starts lovingly, loving is a given for most people. It is not for nothing that there are many relationship therapists.

The controversial Jordan Peterson advises against divorce, no matter how difficult it can be in the relationship. Why? The statistics show that divorced partners with children both get off badly. In a financial sense, in terms of starting a new relationship and in terms of emotions.

In a way I agree with him. Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating that people should stay in a relationship that causes all kinds of distress. I do think that relationship suffering presents a huge opportunity for both partners. An opportunity to learn to understand something about yourself that is fundamental to ourselves. Because this “something” probably played a role in previous relationships as well. Something that will likely play a role in a future relationship as well.

Wassili gets the best out of people and this material! I think he is a fantastic trainer.

- Lucas Derks, PhDSocial psychologist, author and developer of 'Mental Space Psychology'

Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching

The Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching foundation training lasts three days. Below is a brief summary of some of the topics that will be covered.

The neuroscience of emotions

  • You will learn the latest knowledge about how your brain works.
  • You learn a new theory about how emotions arise.
  • You will playfully explore and practice the fundamentals of how emotions arise.

Mapping relationship problems

  • Which basic issues can arise in relationships?
  • What are the problems of a blended family?
  • Why do we blame each other for our feelings?
  • The secret of crisis in a / your relationship.
  • Relearn to feel.

Transform relationship emotions

  • Practice to investigate your own relationship issues.
  • Learning how to map relationship-emotion-prediction loops.
  • Learning to change relationship-emotion-prediction loops, within yourself and each other.
  • Learning to make new predictions together.

Relationship related emotions

Intimacy touches us to our core. In a positive sense when things are going well and in the most negative sense when things are going bad. We have learned in our life how intimacy works through the most important examples in our lives: our parents.

From the second we were born we have been taught what, for example, intimacy is. How to act intimately, what breaks intimacy, how to act in intimacy, what not to do and so on.

We have not learned this consciously. Sometimes we have been told how intimacy works. Most of the time, however, we have grown up in the midst of our unique example of intimacy. Because of what was said, was done. What was not done or said. Whether there was touching or not. And not only from our parents but also the larger system. Brothers, sisters, grandfathers and grandmothers, friends and girlfriends and so on.

All those thousands of experiences have formed a conceptual reality. A conceptual reality that unconsciously shapes our decisions. And this unconscious conceptual reality is the basis for possibly the most important aspect of relationship problems. Relationship related emotions!

A completely new way of looking at how emotions influence us. And it has been made so simple that everyone can learn to apply these ideas. I have discovered and changed incredibly deep relationship patterns. Still can't believe what's changed.

- BarbaraNot currently in a relationship

I've always thought my relationship issues were about something other than what came up at RETaC. I did not expect this eye-opener. I gave myself a present and can now guide my coaching clients much better. Thanks!

- Karel(Relationship) therapist and coach

Neuro-scientific research

Recent research shows that emotions may be the most important factor in our decision-making ability. For most of us, the feelings associated with these emotions are largely outside of our consciousness. 

Unconscious feelings play a central role in relationship problems. However we experience these feelings and emotions not as ‘our own’. We experience emotions in our relationships as a consequence of the action or inaction of the other person. This is actually a critical (mostly unconscious) mistake. This mistake ensures that the feelings and emotions strengthen. Making them more true and more challenging to change. 

When Relationship Therapy Doesn’t Work

Another aspect of the role of these relationship emotions is that neuroscientific research shows that these emotions cannot be overruled with our cognition. That explains why so much relationship therapy, advice and techniques does not work when it is really necessary.

Seeing yourself through the perspective of the other. Non-violent Communication. Embracing differences in thinking style. Understanding what “color” your partner is. Communication advice. Family constellations, insight into your attachment style, et cetera. All meaningful things, but when it really comes down to it… relationship emotions overrule what you know and understand. Read more about relationships on the relationship blog.

Who is this training for?

Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching is the training to transform relationship problems in a sustainable way. Anyone who wants to learn how relationship problems arise and how you can change them can participate in this training. With or without (work) partner or family members.

(Relationship) therapists / Family Constellation therapists. RETaC is new and changes your view on how emotions arise and how unconscious emotions determine how partners respond to each other. A different and innovative way to guide clients.

Coaches / Psychologists / Mediators. RETaC is a tremendous asset to your ability to understand clients and analyze problems. You will also learn hands-on tools that you can use directly in your practice.

Wat is RETaC?

Relationship Emotion Therapy and Coaching (RETaC) is not the same as EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy). RETaC is based on recent neuroscience research by Dr Lisa Barret Feldman. She explains in great detail how our emotions arise and that is not how we have learned that they arise. The source of our emotions lies in one of the most important functions of our brain: predicting what will happen. These predictions create our emotions.

Predicting what will happen

Predictions arise from unconscious physical feelings. It turns out that a large part of our brain is busy drawing information from a (relatively) unknown sensory system: interocepsis. Subtle heartbeat changes, or tensions around organs such as stomach, intestines, throat. Or restlessness in legs, etc., are carefully monitored by the brain. The brain links these (often) unconscious feelings to memories of these feelings. Why? To be able to predict as accurately as possible what will happen.

What is RETaC 2?

This “prediction mechanism” of our brain is very useful. Because by making predictions we can handle new things and experiences very well. However, feelings can also be linked to experiences that consistently make the “worst” predictions possible. And all we notice about this whole process is the end emotion it creates.

Unconscious process

An important aspect of this is that this whole process unconsciously directs us. We do not link the emotions and feelings we experience to the past but to what is happening in the moment. We are also not aware of the origin of the prediction but link our felt experience to the situation or person of that moment.

By accurately modeling how emotions are created in our brain, we have been able to develop methods to work with this neuroscientific knowledge. With RETaC we make the unconscious process aware. And we change the predictions so that the Relationship Emotions also change.

Dates & location

The RETaC Foundation training lasts three days from 09.30 to approximately 17.00 and takes place in Amsterdam, IJburg

Training dates in 2021

RETaC introduction webinar part 1: January 30, 2.5 hours, start 10.00 am
Part 2: February 13, 2.5 hours start 10.00 am

Life Foundation training
Part 1: Friday May 14
Part 2: Friday May 28, Saturday May 29

Life Foundation training
Part 1: Friday, September 3
Part 2: Friday September 17, Saturday September 18

Read Happiness is depressing. Do the exercises!

Register now


€ 750,-

These amounts are VAT-free and therefore the net amount. Training courses are often deductible, please check with the tax authorities / adviser.

The amount includes the following:

  • Three-day training;
  • Coffee, tea and refreshments;
  • Syllabus;
  • RETaC Foundation certificate.

The heart of relationship problems

If the heart of relationship problems is formed by unconscious feelings and emotions, then the solution must also be sought there!

How do you unravel unconscious feelings of yourself when you genuinely experience that the other is causing the problem? What can you do with your own feelings if you are engulfed in self-pity? In feelings of rejection, insecurity, self-doubt, or anger? Can you change fears and insecurities in a blended family? Do you need help to stop responding from your emotions or your intuition? How do you stop feeling that your partner is to blame for the problems?

These are very tricky problems for the simple reason that for us, our feeling is the truth no matter what others says about them.

Training and Coaching in RETaC

Do you want to learn the secret behind relationship problems? Are you curious about what hidden information is behind your own feelings? Do you want to give yourself the opportunity to free yourself from negative feelings about yourself or the other? Would you like to discover what hidden treasure is waiting for you behind the pain the relationship is causing? Join the training now. Do you want to work one one one on relationship issues? Then sign up for the RETaC Coaching.

RETaC for your relationship

Training including intensive personal guidance: three days of training and five coaching sessions individually with both partners (with a discount!). Intensive guidance with great results.

Contact us now

What do others think?

An overview of different participants in previous training courses and their reactions, findings and feedback! Both in text and image!


Frequently Asked Questions

Click here for a list of frequently asked questions about the Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching training and training in general.

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