Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching

Emotion plays a big part in our lives and our relationships. Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching works with the heart of individual and relationship problems. Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching (RETaC) resolves unconscious, projected emotions. Effectively and quickly.

With Relationship Emotion Therapy and Coaching we explore which emotions emerge in relationships. Intimate relationships, work, family and friendship relationships. We use an accurate process to trace unconscious predictions we make about ourselves and others. This happens in such a way that we can structurally change these predictions, and the emotions related to them.

The way we feel, has emerged through our interaction with the world around us. How this takes place has just recently been discovered. These discoveries have led to a highly effectieve method to permanently change feelings: RETaC.

RETaC for yourself or your relationship

Withe RETaC you can change personal feelings or feelings that take place within your relationship. Would you like to feel more free? Would you like to change fears and insecurities permanently? Do you have relational issues that seems difficult to solve? Do you long for a breakthrough within yourself or your relationships? Would you like to discover how unconscious feelings influence how you respond to a partner? Don’t you feel supported, understood or loved? Do you experience complexities in your (blended) family? Do you long to feel stable, in control and free of tension? Join the RETaC Foundation training or go to the RETaC for your Relationship workshop page if you only wish to work on your relationship.

The RETaC Foundation, Practitioner and Coaching training

Are you coach, therapist or psychologist and do you want to learn how to help clients permanently change limiting feelings? You can enroll now for the RETaC Foundation training. You will experience intense personal transformation and learn the fundamental principles of emotional regulation. Want to become a specialist in emotional regulation? After the foundation training you can enroll in the RETaC practitioner- and coaching training.

RETaC Foundation training online/ live: € 1010,-
RETaC Practitioner training: € 1949,00
RETaC Coach certification training: € 1500,00

The RETaC Foundation training in Athens, Greece is a hybrid training. This means you can join live in Athens or online from your home.
The amounts are VAT-free and therefore the net amount. Training courses are often deductible, please check with the tax authorities / adviser.

The heart of relationship problems

If the heart of relationship problems is formed by unconscious feelings and emotions, then the solution must also be sought there!
How do you unravel unconscious feelings of yourself when you genuinely experience that the other is causing the problem? What can you do with your own feelings if you are engulfed in self-pity? In feelings of rejection, insecurity, self-doubt, or anger? Can you change fears and insecurities in a blended family? Do you need help to stop responding from your emotions or your intuition? How do you stop feeling that your partner is to blame for the problems?
These are very tricky problems for the simple reason that for us, what we feel is the truth no matter what others says about them. RETaC addresses these problems.

Relationship Coaching or the RETaC Foundation training?

Do you want to learn the secret behind relationship problems? Are you curious about what hidden information is behind your own feelings? Do you want to give yourself the opportunity to free yourself from negative feelings about yourself or the other? Would you like to discover what hidden treasure is waiting for you behind the pain the relationship is causing? Join the Foundation training. You will have 3 full days to work on all your issues and experience emotional breakthroughs. Do you prefer to work one on one on relationship issues? Then sign up for the RETaC Coaching.

RETaC 10 day training

Would you like to become a RETaC specialist, a RETaC practitioner? You will need to do both the three day Foundation and the 7 day Practitioner training. See the program details below.

Become a RETaC Coach/ Therapist

After the 10 day practitioner training you can join the 5 day RETaC certified coach/ therapist training. In total you will experience 15 days of the most profound change method and learn how to apply emotional regulation in a variation of circumstances. Joining the RETaC certified coach and therapy training will enable you solve individual and relational emotional regulation issues like you never have before. You will learn what you have been longing for. You will learn how to help people solve their issues in a way those issues will never return. Curious? Below you can read more about why you want to become a certified RETaC coach/ therapist.

Who is this training for?

RETaC is the training to solve emotional and relational issues! Anyone who wants to learn how emotions emerge and how you can change them can join.

  • (Relationship) counselors/ Family constellation workers. RETaC is new and will change your view on how emotions emerge. A innovative way of working with clients.
  • NLPers/ Coaches/ Psychologists/ Mediators/ Hypnotherapists. RETaC will contribute to a deeper understanding of your clients. You will learn hands-on tools that you can use directly in your work.
  • Personal development. Do you experience personal or relational issues that seem difficult to solve? Join the Foundation training. You will experience change you hadn’t thought possible.

Emotional regulation

Emotions are an intrinsic part of our lives. They make us feel fantastic and they can make us feel hopeless. The power of emotion is huge. When we feel something, we can get lost in it. Feelings and emotions determine ‘everything’. The way we feel about something is the heart of our decision making. Think about it. When something ‘feels right’ we want to go for it. When something ‘feels wrong’ we are in doubt about what to do, or we don’t want it.

Healthy emotional regulation

To be able to deal effectively with our emotions we need healthy emotional regulation. If that is not the case, we can feel stuck, experience negative emotions, and have disturbing relationships as they influence how we experience ourselves and respond to others. Healthy emotional regulation enables us to not get stuck in emotions and patterns. It helps to make decisions that are good for us and good for our partners and family. Healthy emotional regulation enables you to feel relief, say sorry, feel free…

What is RETaC about?

RETaC is about individual emotional regulation. With RETaC you learn how to change unwanted behaviors that emerge from how you feel. The impact can be life changing because how we feel, determines our daily choices and decisions.

RETaC is about relational emotional regulation. Relationships are the one area where deep emotions emerge. The more intimate the relationship – be it with lover, friend, children, siblings, close family – the deeper the feelings impact us. With RETaC you will rediscover what you truly feel and how you can be part of a healthy relationship.

New method of coaching and therapy

RETaC is also a new method of coaching and therapy. The neuroscientific research behind how our emotional brain works has led to RETaC. Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching, traces and unravels (unconscious) feeling patterns that regulate our emotions and responses and transforms them into new resourceful felt experiences. Once that happens, our reaction patterns immediately change because their source changed. Not only do you learn to react differently with RETaC, but you feel differently which makes you react differently!

The transformations with RETaC are so profound that many therapists and coaches want to learn about how emotional regulation works, and how that is the key to deep and sustainable transformation. RETaC explains why much relationship therapy, emotional work, advice and techniques do not work when it is needed. 

RETaC will change the way you think change works!

The RETaC Foundation training program

The Relation Emotion Therapy and Coaching foundation training takes three days. Below is a brief summary of some of the topics that will be covered.

Day 1: The neuroscience of emotions

  • You will learn the latest about how your emotional brain works.
  • And you learn a new theory about how emotions emerge.
  • You will playfully investigate and practice the foundations of how emotions emerge.
  • You will examine your own patterns in relationships.
  • You will explore your own feelings and learn where they come from.

Day 2: Mapping relationship problems

  • Exploring basic issues that can arise in relationships?
  • What are the problems of a blended family?
  • Why do we blame each other for our feelings, and how do you change that?
  • The secret of crisis in a/your relationship. Can a crisis be a blessing in disguise?
  • Learning to feel again.
  • You will transform patterns in yourself and patterns in your relationships.
  • You will learn how to guide others in transforming deep feelings and patterns.

Day 3: Transform relationship emotions

  • You will explore your own relationship issues and practice how to transform them.
  • You will learn how to map relation- emotion- prediction loops.
  • You will learn how you can change relation- emotion- prediction, in yourself and each other.
  • You change patterns in yourself that have been playing for (many) years.
  • You will discover how to make new predictions together.

Concepts and emotions

From the moment we were born we have been taught what, for example, intimacy means. How to act intimately, what breaks intimacy, what not to do and so on. Intimacy touches us to our core. In a positive sense when things are going well and in the most negative sense when things are going not so well. We have learned in our life how intimacy works through the most important examples in our lives: our parents.

Concepts and emotions

We have not learned this consciously. We have grown up in the midst of our unique example of intimacy. Because of what was said and done. And what was not said or done. Whether there was touching or not and so on. And not only from our parents but also the larger system. Brothers, sisters, grandfathers and grandmothers, friends and girlfriends.

All those thousands of experiences have formed a conceptual reality. A conceptual reality that unconsciously shapes how we feel. And this unconscious conceptual reality is the basis for possibly the most important aspect of relationship problems. Relationship related emotions!

Neuro-scientific research

Recent research shows that emotions may be the most important factor in our decision-making ability. For most of us, the feelings associated with these emotions are largely outside of our consciousness. 

Unconscious feelings play a key role in relationship problems. However we experience the feelings and emotions we have not as ‘our own’. What we feel, we experience as a consequence of the action or inaction of the other person. This is actually a critical (mostly unconscious) mistake. Making them more challenging to change. 

Feelings overrule what you know and understand

Another aspect of the role of these relationship feelings is that neuroscientific research shows that these emotions are very difficult to overrule with our cognition. That explains why so much relationship therapy, advice and techniques does not work when it is really necessary. When is that necessary? When emotions emerge!

When therapy does not work

Seeing yourself through the perspective of the other. Non-violent Communication. Embracing differences in thinking style. Understanding what “color” your partner is. Communication advice. Family constellations, insight into your attachment style, et cetera. All meaningful things, but when it really comes down to it… relationship emotions overrule what you know and understand. Read more about relationships on the relationship blog.

Wat is RETaC?

Relationship Emotion Therapy and Coaching (RETaC) is not the same as EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy). RETaC is based on recent neuroscience research by Dr Lisa Feldman Barret. She explains in great detail how our emotions arise and that is not how we have learned that they arise. The source of our emotions lies in one of the most important functions of our brain: predicting what will happen. These predictions create our emotions.

Predicting what will happen

Predictions arise from unconscious physical feelings. It turns out that a large part of our brain is busy drawing information from a (relatively) unknown sensory system: interocepsis. Subtle heartbeat changes, or tensions around organs such as stomach, intestines, throat. Or restlessness in legs, etc., are carefully monitored by the brain. The brain links these (often) unconscious feelings to memories of these feelings. Why? To be able to predict as accurately as possible what will happen.


You can read more about RETaC in this excellent article by journalist and coach Aranka van der Pol.

What is RETaC 2?

This “prediction mechanism” of our brain is very useful. Because by making predictions we can handle new things and experiences very well. However, feelings can also be linked to experiences that consistently make the “worst” predictions possible. And all we notice about this whole process is the (end) emotion it creates.

Unconscious process

An important aspect of this is that this whole process unconsciously directs us. We do not link the emotions and feelings we experience to the past but to what is happening in the moment. We are also not aware of the origin of the prediction but link our felt experience to the situation or person of that moment.

By accurately modeling how emotions are created in our brain, we have been able to develop methods to work with this neuroscientific knowledge. With RETaC we make the unconscious process aware. And we change the predictions so that the Relationship Emotions also change.

A mind-blowing new method of emotional regulation that you can apply to basically anything! Still can't believe how deep and profound this has changed my view on personal development and working with my clients.

Marjolijn, trauma therapist


Do you have questions about 1 of my workshops? Feel free to contact me, I’ll be happy to help you.


RETaC training for therapists, psychologists, coaches and personal development.

Aranka (coach, author and journalist) shares her impression of the RETaC Foundation and Practitioner training.

Review of the RETaC practitioner training

Nolke was one of two participant of the 2022/23 RETaC practitioner training with a corporate background. All other participants are coaches and therapist. He talkes about the impact of RETaC on his personal development and business succes.

Dates and location

The RETaC Foundation training takes 3 days from 09.30 till 17.00

The Netherlands, Amsterdam, Helmgrasstraat 1, Souterrain
Greece where specified

Training dates

RETaC Foundation 2023
30, 31 March and 1 April, Amsterdam
29-31 May in Greece (join live or online)
29, 30 Juni and 1 Juli, Amsterdam
28, 29 30 September, Amsterdam

RETaC practitioner Greece 2023
14-20 September, 7 days training in a wonderful place

RETaC practitioner Amsterdam 2024
2, 3 Februari
2, 3 March
27 March (online)
13, 14 April

Read Happiness is Depressing.

RETaC coach
Would you like to become a RETaC coach/ therapist? You can! The RETaC coach certification consists of: The Foundation training, the Practitioner training + 5 days Coaching training

RETaC Coach Certification 2024
11, 12 , 13 October
8,9 November

RETaC Foundation trainers training
Have you participated in the Foundation training and and want to become a Foundation trainer? Contact us for the trainers training.

Accredited by the Dutch Society for Professional Hypnotherapists (NVBH)

Price description

RETaC Foundation training online/ live: € 1010,-
RETaC Practitioner training: € 1949,00
RETaC Coach certification training: € 1500,00

The RETaC Foundation training in Athens, Greece is a hybrid training. This means you can join live in Athens of online from your home.

The amount includes the following:

  • Training days;
  • Coffee, tea and refreshments;
  • Syllabus;
  • RETaC Foundation certificate when applicable.